最近吐槽功底下降了，FML

Today I changed my QQ signature to "Sincerely wish that each pair of lovers would find that they were long-lost siblings eventually on 1.1.1.1." I fxxking love this signture, however, a friend who has a GF said: Oh!~Fxxking boy!~how could you know I am a siscon? I've dreamed for a sister lover for a long long time. Oh! I know, you must be god's messager! Thank the god and you. Both of you are good men!!"FML

    今天我把QQ签名改成“真心祝愿每对情侣在1111那天都发现原来互相是失散多年的亲兄妹/姐弟/兄弟/姐妹（我喜欢英语词的高概括能力~）。”然后觉得我真TMD有才的时候，一个混蛋跟我说：“嘿！你这货怎么知道我是个妹控的？我做梦都想要个妹线结局啊！你肯定是个天使！感谢神~感谢你~你俩都是好人！”FML
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    第一次写FML，但是咋的完全不是这个味啊？虽然很有趣（自认为），但是果然自己这么久鹰语白学了；句子太长也是个问题。
   好的其实我是来推广FML的。
   所谓FML就是指FXXK MY LIFE.纯粹自虐型吐槽，依靠“互相分享自己的糗事来获得快感乐趣”。一般是几句简单的句子，以Today开头，FML结束。

以下例子：
Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML
今天我一边吃鼻窦炎的药一边写论文。快写完的时候不小心睡着了。醒来发现笔记本已经被我的口水淹没了。FML
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Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML
今天我在深夜里开了几个小时的车，想找点乐子，就故意挡着后面的车不让他超过去。我这样玩了3英里，把车速彪到了93英里，然后决定放他过去，就换了一条车道。那辆车超了上来，然后亮起了红蓝相间的顶灯。。。FML
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Today, my youngest son tried to breast feed off of me. I'm his father. FML
今天我的小儿子想吃我的奶。我是你爹啊喂。FML


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么，理论上说，可以同时学习英译中，英文构句，中英吐槽。真美~FML

也就是我了个去的英文版嘛= =

总觉得“FML”和“我勒个去”有微妙的违和感。可能“我勒个去”是自我/他者封印，而“FML”纯纯的妥妥的自我封印，...吧？

那就是……我了个死去